Tom Zuba writes:

In order to heal you must MOURN.

You must push all of your grief up and out.

Contrary to the old way of doing grief –denying, suppressing and stuffing your feelings and emotions – you must find ways to express, feel and release all of the emotions that are bubbling up inside of you.

In addition, if you are committed to doing grief a NEW WAY, you must actively pursue your healing. Time alone will not and does not heal … it’s what you decide to do with that time that matters.  That determines if you will heal … or not.

I am offering five concrete things you can do to heal.  Pick one … just one … and commit to doing it every day for the next week.

Here are the five options:

1. Write in a Journal every day. Write about what you are feeling, thinking, doing, hoping for, fearful of and/or dreaming of. Start somewhere and let it flow. See what comes up and out. Fill one page every day with written words. This is a concrete way to mourn.

2. Spend 15-20 minutes a day in silence. Just you … and you. And listen. Listen to your breath, your heart beating, the birds singing, God whispering to you. Light a candle, savor a cup of tea, doodle, treat yourself to a warm bath, meditate. The objective is to slow down and reconnect to you.

3. Commit to crying. Say yes to crying. Allow yourself to cry … every day. And remind yourself that when you cry – you are healing.

4. Start a Gratitude Journal. Look for things throughout the day to be grateful for. Write down 3-5 things every day that you are thankful for. Do this every day. This exercise alone has the power to change your life.

5. Rebuild your broken body. Walk outside every day for the next week. Decide to eat better. Drink 8 glasses of water. Exercise. Practice yoga. Attend a Zumba class. Add just one of these things to your daily activities. Practice nourishing your body.

6. If there’s something else you’d like to add to this list that will help you heal … add it. You know best what you need to to do to heal.

As I said … the goal is to add one thing – one thing – to your day for the next week with the intention, goal, purpose of healing.

Begin exactly where you are.  Today.

If not now … when?

Permission to Mourn

Shelly writes: I’ve been reading this book with an unusual amount of fervor.  It has spoken volumes to me in the 38 days since my Dad’s death.  This book and my bossy friends have been working on my soul.  I don’t know that there is such a thing as a grief intervention but I believe this is exactly what my friends did for me.  I have received the blessing of my church, my District Superintendent and Bishop to spend the next 30 or so days on renewal leave.  I am disengaging from church life during this time and spending some time applying some of these five practices to renew and rebuilt.  I’m giving myself permission to give my attention to my grief.  I’ll be back to church life around October 6.  Blessings.  The time is now.